Young women should understand the finer points of the development of their sexuality. If you are a young lady reading this, you probably already know that your sexuality is quite different from your man’s.
For one thing, you have probably noticed that he reaches orgasm every time you make love, but you don’t always get there. And when you do, it takes much more effort to achieve than it does for him. This is especially true during the last half of your menstrual cycle. Being educated about what has happened in the development of our species can help you understand what may be going on. The research of Masters and Johnson shows that nearly all women, if they are sufficiently prepared and stimulated, reach orgasms, but oftentimes it takes more than intercourse alone. Research shows that only about one fourth of women are orgasmic from intercourse alone; it usually requires manual or oral stimulation of the clitoris.
There seems to be a paradox in human sexuality.
There is a mismatch between the male of the species, that has an orgasm and ejaculates easily and quickly, especially if he is younger, but then is impotent for a considerable time afterwards, and women of the species, who are definitely capable of multiple orgasms with no period of impotency.
This too could be seen as a paradox.
Masters and Johnson’s research shows that human females have the biological machinery to get into a state of high arousal and stay there for an extended period of time given the right circumstances. Sarah Blaffer Hrdy says, “In the human female, orgasm may be greatly facilitated by high arousal prior to intromission [intercourse], and women. This means that women are benefited by much longer periods of fore play than are men, unlike men, do not return to a physiologically unaroused state after orgasm, but to the pre-orgasmic period.”91Untilthelastpartofthetwentiethcentury, inview of the difficulty many women have achieving orgasm, the clitoris was looked upon as a poor comparison to the penis as far as efficiency goes. It was seen as the reason why women’s inability to climax could be so problematic. Further research showed, however, that women have a larger network of excitable erectile tissue on the inside, and that the clitoris is just the tip of the iceberg. It is, in fact, a much more substantial area than is represented in males. It also works in a complementary fashion to males by the vagina enlarging, or what they call “tenting,” while at the same time self-lubricating. It is definitely a wondrous physiological feat that, in tandem with men’s physiological feat of erections, have made the miracle of human reproduction possible for millions of years.
Dr. Helen O’Connell shows there are different parts of the clitoris that work together to enlarge during sexual arousal and mysteriously become part of women’s orgasmic process. This research supports the assertion that females have a larger network of internal erectile tissue connected tothe clitoris that cannot be seen. It seems that the vagina, clitoris, and urethra all move together when any of the individual parts are stimulated. Dr. O’Connell suggests that these surrounding synergistic organs be renamed the clitoral complex. I believe that would help many people, especially men, to better understand and appreciate the complex process that goes on during female sexual arousal.
It has been concluded by some that the challenge of human female orgasm achievement compared to men’s relatively easy and automatic response is not the clitoris itself, but the type of sexual activity undertaken as we described above.This is why it is apparent that it is best, especially for women, for there to be a intimate relationship where a woman’s partner knows her very well and her individual needs. That is why studies clearly show that married couples have the most and the best sex.
Recent research has shown that after sex both men and women experience surges in testosterone and oxytocin. But, and this is a very big but, men secrete much greater amounts of testosterone, which actually blocks their oxytocin receptors and dampens the post-sex bonding drive that women are experiencing. This promotes the tendency for them to have the attitude that they have been there and done that and are ready to move on without any further commitment. It may explain why some men leave women waiting to hear from them again after a casual sexual encounter and instead “ghost” them in our current hookup culture. We believe this biochemical phenomenon in men runs against women’s best interests and hookup culture is definitely a negative for many twenty-first century women.