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40 Year Old Post College Single Woman Interview Part 1

Relationships:

-I did not grow up by any relatives since we moved so often. My parents divorced when I was in 3rd grade. My brother (my only sibling) is 16 months older than I am and he wanted to live with my dad after the divorce. They both moved out of the state in which my mom and I lived. I visited them during summer breaks and although we lived far apart I felt somewhat close to my brother. I am not close to my dad. He is not a bad guy, but he just did not make the effort to really stay in touch with me after he left and now as an adult it has been difficult to be close to him. He and I have always lived hundreds of miles apart since the divorce.

-When I was in Pre-K (not sure the age) my grandfather came to live with us for a little while and during that time he sexually molested me.

- My mom remarried when I was 15 which was the reason we moved to TN. That relationship was one of the best relationships of my life. He was the best step-father I could have asked for and I would not be the person I am today if he did not come into my life. He passed away in 2013 and I miss him every single day.

2. High school relationships:

- My first serious relationship started when I was 16. We dated for 2 years (9th and 10th+ grades) and we were sexually active. He was older and we broke up after he went off to college. My second high school relationship started my senior year which was also sexually active. We dated on and off through our first year of college, but we went to different schools which made the relationship difficult. In between those relationships I did have short relationships usually with close friends that were sexual too. Interesting side note, I moved from a very large school in Michigan in 9th grade to an extremely small town in Tennessee. I was stunned with the sexual nature of my classmates. At that time Perry County (where I went to school) had the highest high school pregnancy rate in the state. I felt like the only virgin when I arrived in 9th grade and I am being completely serious. I do think if I had stayed in Michigan I would not have been sexually active as early as I was.

3. College relationships:

- My first year of college I was on and off with my high school boyfriend. I did hook up with 1 friend in college and I'm not sure that I wanted a serious relationship with him. I enjoyed his company and not always sleeping alone. Sometime in my second year of college I reached out to a crush that I had all the way back from middle school in Michigan. I was already planning on moving to Arizona with a friend of mine and when I talked to this guy after many years he told me he was moving to Arizona that same summer from Michigan. We met a few times before we moved to AZ and then we ended up dating. We dated for 5 years then were married for 6 years. We divorced due to him traveling for work. He was gone all of the time except for maybe 3 days a month. He promised to only travel for 1 year and after 3 years I couldn't handle it any longer. Our divorce was final in 2009.

4. College peer attitudes towards sex:

- Attitudes towards sex in college was that it was a very casual thing. Sadly, my peers in high school had the same attitude. When I talk about college I talk more about my first couple of years before I met my to be husband and before I moved to Arizona. We were only in Arizona for 1 year then came back and I finished college. The college years after returning from AZ I was of course in a serious relationship, but my peers still had a casual attitude concerning sex. I think there was a lot of hooking up going on, but I must think it happens even more frequently today.



      

-I did not grow up by any relatives since we moved so often.  My parents divorced when I was in 3rd grade.  My brother (my only sibling) is 16 months older than I am and he wanted to live with my dad after the divorce.  They both moved out of the state in which my mom and I lived.  I visited them during summer breaks and although we lived far apart I felt somewhat close to my brother.  I am not close to my dad.  He is not a bad guy, but he just did not make the effort to really stay in touch with me after he left and now as an adult it has been difficult to be close to him.  He and I have always lived hundreds of miles apart since the divorce.  

 

-When I was in Pre-K (not sure the age) my grandfather came to live with us for a little while and during that time he sexually molested me.

 

- My mom remarried when I was 15 which was the reason we moved to TN.  That relationship was one of the best relationships of my life.  He was the best step-father I could have asked for and I would not be the person I am today if he did not come into my life.  He passed away in 2013 and I miss him every single day.

 

2.  High school relationships:

        

 - My first serious relationship started when I was 16.  We dated for 2 years (9th and 10th+ grades) and we were sexually active.  He was older and we broke up after he went off to college.  My second high school relationship started my senior year which was also sexually active.  We dated on and off through our first year of college, but we went to different schools which made the relationship difficult.  In between those relationships I did have short relationships usually with close friends that were sexual too.  Interesting side note, I moved from a very large school in Michigan in 9th grade to an extremely small town in Tennessee.  I was stunned with the sexual nature of my classmates.  At that time Perry County (where I went to school) had the highest high school pregnancy rate in the state.  I felt like the only virgin when I arrived in 9th grade and I am being completely serious.  I do think if I had stayed in Michigan I would not have been sexually active as early as I was. 

 

3.  College relationships:

         

 - My first year of college I was on and off with my high school boyfriend.  I did hook up with 1 friend in college and I'm not sure that I wanted a serious relationship with him.  I enjoyed his company and not always sleeping alone.  Sometime in my second year of college I                reached out to a crush that I had all the way back from middle school in Michigan.  I was already planning on moving to Arizona with a friend of mine and when I talked to this guy after many years he told me he was moving to Arizona that same summer from Michigan.  We met a few times before we moved to AZ and then we ended up dating.  We dated for 5 years then were married for 6 years.  We divorced due to him traveling for work.  He was gone all of the time except for maybe 3 days a month.  He promised to only travel for 1 year and after 3 years I couldn't handle it any longer.  Our divorce was final in 2009.   

 

4.  College peer attitudes towards sex:

            

- Attitudes towards sex in college was that it was a very casual thing.  Sadly, my peers in high school had the same attitude.  When I talk about college I talk more about my first couple of years before I met my to be husband and before I moved to Arizona.  We were only in Arizona for 1 year then came back and I finished college.  The college years after returning from AZ I was of course in a serious relationship, but my peers still had a casual attitude concerning sex.  I think there was a lot of hooking up going on, but I must think it happens even more frequently today.

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